Lesson I'm learning

I have written before about lessons I have learned from my son AJ. It's surprising because he is our most "difficult" and needy child. Sometimes the mental stress of handling his meltdowns is over-whelming!As I sat here tonite preparing for another difficult day tomorrow of trying to convince him to go to school, I pulled out my Devotions for Sacred Parenting book. The devotion I turned to was the story of a woman with a difficult little boy and what she has learned God is using him to teach her. I felt taken back. I had thought God was trying to teach me patience, but I never considered that He might be teaching me how to handle other difficult people through my son. But that's exactly what I'm learning! Because of my son's SPD, I now have a new perspective on what the underlying causes of people's reactions might be. AJ often misinterprets a strangers touch & over reacts to loud noises & crowded places. No matter how much I try he just doesn't see what I see. He sees danger where I see nothing alarming. He sees loneliness when I see a room full of kids. To get through to him, I have to speak softly & tenderly & look him in the eye. I realized tonight that I encounter "difficult" people all the time. I often meet people who don't see what I see and who don't understand what seems so obvious to me. Through my child, God is teaching me how to not just deal with, but also interact with such difficult people. Like I've learned with AJ, yelling doesn't work, getting frustrated doesn't work, trying to force my view point doesn't work. What stops his panic attacks, or at least lowers them a degree or two, is when I speak softly & tenderly & try to understand where he is coming from. No one likes to be misunderstood. Most of the time we often avoid the people who take work to get along with, but AJ is teaching me that no matter how hard it is, it's the not giving up that makes a difference. There's no greater feeling then when I can calm him down from one of his panic attacks & make him smile again. There are so many people out there who have defensive walls for different reasons & it makes them not so easy to get along with, but all they really need is patience, understanding, & love. God is teaching me so much through my child. Knowing what my son goes through emotionally has helped me to see others as simply reacting in the best way they know how. People do what they think they need to do in order to survive. Though we may not understand their reactions, we can understand that underneath it all is a person who wants to be loved just as much as us. God did not make cookie cutter humans, we all have our little quirks, but God made us all none the less.
So tonight I am feeling thankful for my "difficult" child because without him I wouldn't be able to peer into others past their rough exterior. God is teaching me patience, yes, but also so much more. He is teaching me compassionate understanding, perserverence,creative thinking, & the kind of love that is not shaken by a little difficulty. I have a new perspective & compassion for humanity & I must admit, a new soft spot for the "difficult" people.