Thoughts: The Woman in the Mirror
The biggest response this week was over the subject of putting on God's love. We REALLY struggle with this as a whole. So, I wanted to take this time to talk a little bit more about that hurdle. I think most of us feel like we are being judged by some kind of mirror when it comes to God's love. We walk up to it and ask "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is worthy of His call?" And the reply? "Not you at all". All we see is every fault, every trip, every single thing that is wrong with us. We walk away devasted, empty, and rejected. So we rush out to find whatever it is to fill us up. Some run to addiction, some run to over-serve, some run to find a new relationship, some run to make their house pinterest worthy, whatever we can to fill up our lives so that we don't have to notice for a few moments that we are not "worthy". And the cycle repeats over and over and over.
Here's the thing, God isn't a magic mirror. That's not how this works, LIKE AT ALL. God is not a model scout who lines us up and looks us up and down and then checks off a list before shouting to the next person in line "NEXT!" That is the idea that satan has put into your head to keep you from approaching the throne. That is the idea that satan has buried into your flesh so that you will never fully seek a relationship with Christ believing yourself unworthy. That is satan, that is not God. PLEASE remember that.
When I finally, finally came to the road of understanding grace and realized I wanted to "take every thought captive", I knew I had to also tackle that girl in the mirror. I had to be a reflection of who God created and no longer allow satan to whisper in my ear. So I stood in front of the mirror and I looked at myself. As all the negative thoughts began bombarding my brain I repeated over and over and over through sobs
and you shall be called by a new name that the mouth of the Lord will give.You shall be a crown of beauty in the hand of the Lord, and a royal diadem in the hand of your God. You shall no more be termed Forsaken, and your land shall no more be termed Desolate,but you shall be called My Delight Is in Her, Isaiah 62:2b-4a
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. Psalm 139:14This went on for a long time, I'm talking months, until what I saw in the mirror was no longer flesh and vanity, but a soul purposed for Christ. That's when I stopped checking with the mirror for my worth and is the reason my makeup regime consists of 5 minutes and 4 whole products (1 of those is sunscreen!)
The reason most of us find it so hard to accept God's love is that we are still stuck in our personhood. We see Christ through the reflection of our mirror rather than seeing ourselves through the reflection of Christ. We just can't get past all our "unlovable" parts. This world has damaged us and told us there are things about us not worth loving and we believed every word. This world has rejected us and told us we aren't worth having around much less worth dying for and we believed the lie. Somewhere deep inside there is a secret room where this lie of "I'm not worth it" lays curled up on the floor. We have to allow Christ all the way in to redeem and destroy that lie.
If you do not read another thing I write, please read this: God did not send His Son to die because you did something to make yourself worth it, He sent His Son because He LOVES you and that made you worth it. Yes, there is a huge difference in how you read that statement. He LOVED you before you were even aware He was your Creator. Christ paid the price for your salvation because God already LOVED you. YOU CANNOT EARN THAT. Read that again. It is that realization that drives us to realize our deep sinfulness and desperate need of salvation. It is this great love that compels us to our knees and repentance and to shouts of praise. It is also this amazing grace that draws us closer to the God who loves us this completely and fully.
Ladies, I speak as a lifetime struggler on this one. I still struggle with trust issues and keeping others at arm's length. I've got scars on the outside to mark some of my pain, but it's the invisible ones that are much worse. I talk a lot, but I don't really tell anything personal. I've mastered the art of hiding myself. Life has damaged me over and over and over again. It's one reason I've dedicated my life to helping children who suffer from the same. It's also why I reach out to all of you. We cannot use it as a crutch nor an excuse. God has called us to more. God has called us to Love with His kind of Love and we cannot do that unless we are filled to the brim WITH IT. We have to take down our walls. Christ was literally nailed to a cross after being abandoned and beaten and having the worst of the worst and yet, there He was demonstrating Love for people. We can do it too. Remember these words from Paul in 2 Timothy 1:6-9
For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. So do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord or of me his prisoner. Rather, join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God. He has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time,
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