Foster Care Reflections: Hope Against Hope

Therefore, since through God’s mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart. 2 Corinthians 4:1

There are times when this life feels more like a walk to the gallows than a walk to victory. Every corner is a slammed door, defeat, a slap in the face, and an unexpected blow. Persecution against the good work God is doing through us can come in many forms and it can destroy the spirit very quickly.
I am a goal-oriented person. I like to set my eyes on the prize. It helps me overcome obstacles by keeping face forward. The problem is that when those goals get unexpectedly pulled out from under me in a series of unfortunate events that blindside me, well it can knock the wind right out of me. That seems to be happening a lot lately. It seems to be a reoccurring theme, actually.

 Hoping against hope, he believed that he would become ‘the father of many nations’, according to what was said, ‘So numerous shall your descendants be.’ He did not weaken in faith when he considered his own body, which was already as good as dead (for he was about a hundred years old), or when he considered the barrenness of Sarah’s womb. Romans 4:18-19 (Empahsis mine)

 As I've been studying Romans this passage on Abraham just kept leaping off the page at me. As many goals I had placed my hope in were ripped away this verse came back to me as if to say "Can you, as Abraham did, hope against hope"?  When months worth of unrelated goals were washed away within days of each other, where would my hope come from? This is one of the most important questions we will ask ourselves in life and in foster care. In the busyness and distractions of living the missional life, we often overlook the basic essential questions. We assume we know ourselves and we assume we know how we would answer that question, but sometimes it takes losing everything else in order to answer honestly.

No distrust made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, being fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised. Therefore his faith ‘was reckoned to him as righteousness. Rom 4:20-22

 I asked myself, "without getting everything I desire, will I still be content to just be with Him in the end and lose everything else"? I have spent the past day letting go of everything because 24hrs ago I could not have answered yes. What God showed me was that I had let everything else come between Him and I. In this life, we often get caught up in the drama, the hurt, healing, the mile-long to-do list, the unfairness of it all, which is all so very easy to do. We lose ourselves in our humanness and we get lost in the emotional junk drawer. Suddenly our missional life becomes entangled with our desire to seek vengeance and fairness and all those other ugly human desires. Pretty soon we no longer know what we should be feeling or why we started doing this in the first place. We traded the Spirit in for a pitchfork. I'm so guilty of this so many times. I swear I have to reset at least once a day, sometimes 16 times a day. All because I forgot two very important things 1) love God with all my heart, soul, and mind 2) love my neighbor as my brother. #micdrop

 But we have this treasure in clay jars, so that it may be made clear that this extraordinary power belongs to God and does not come from us. 2 Cor4:7

 Foster care is a beautiful thing and I absolutely believe it is a calling from God on all of us to reach out to the hurting and the broken. However, I also believe we cannot take it lightly. It is a battle between light and darkness. It is a war that is waged every day. We can never forget why we do this or where our hope comes from. We can never take our eyes off our strength, not for a second. This life is hard, it's scary, it's tough. Yet, just like Abraham, I am fully convinced that God is able to do more good than evil can do harm. If you are feeling downhearted and overwhelmed, if you are exasperated and frustrated, it's time to reset with the LORD. WHO called you to this? WHERE does your hope come from? Let GRACE abound and His light shine through you. #defythedarkness