Fostering Throwback: Revelations part 1
This past week has been a very awakening week for me. I had a slow week compared to my usual schedule over the last few months & I was able to spend more time in devotion just being with God. I call it "awakening" because I came to realize two very moving truths about my life & what we are dealing with right now. These are the kind of truths that make you stop & think & then rethink everything you thought you knew. God has an amazing way of doing that! He always finds the right time & the right moment to open our eyes & reveal a truth or two that changes how we think about the future. I love it when He does that!
The first truth came to me as I was driving our foster son to his therapies in the next town. It's not unusual, I do this every Tuesday & Thursday morning. This time, however, I was taking him in the afternoon when we weren't so rushed. It was a nice drive & I had time to just think. I don't remember what I was thinking about that lead me to this revelation, I just remember when I realized with a great suddenness what has been going on. My mind went back over all the events since last summer leading up to the arrival of the 3 new kids & I suddenly saw how God had been preparing me for them. All these things I didn't understand last year all at once made sense. I could see how God worked on my heart in preparation for ministering to children. I love kids, always have, but the thought of ministering to them frightened me greatly. I tried to ignore this calling for months, but God wouldn't let it go. I finally gave in & pursued it. I gave in to His will & He helped me overcome that fear. I remained in constant prayer & learned to rely on Him for the courage to keep going. Then there was the physical exercise of running. I have never been a runner. In fact, I hate running, but I felt like it was something God was calling me to do. I know how weird that may sound, but it's true. So, just like with the children's ministry, I gave in to Him & I started running almost every day. It was hard & it took will power & work every time. I spent most of my time praying for God to get me through it. I never told anyone this before because I thought it sounded pretty pathetic to say I was praying for God to get me through something as simple as a 2 mile run. I would start out great, it was the last mile that almost killed me every time. I would tell God I could not make it if He didn't help me. I would imagine Him running beside me encouraging me on & I would hear Him say each time "Do you trust me to get you there?" My legs would be wore out, I would be out of breath, but I would answer "Yes, I trust you." And each time He got me through that horrible last mile.
Fast forward to us getting the kids. I have always been one to want to help anyone in need, but I'm pretty sure if God had not turned my heart to ministering to children, I would have focused on helping the parents. He was preparing my heart to be in the right place at the right time. When we first got the kids I felt great. Everything was going great, I was running off adrenaline, & I was feeling up to the task. Then the honeymoon wore off & I wore down. I became sleep deprived, I lost about 15lbs from not eating much, my blood sugars kept dropping low, & I was crying a lot. It all became overwhelming. I was running the last mile. I look back & realize my prayers closely resemble those of when I was running & God's answer is the same "Do you trust me to get you there?" Not only was God preparing me for the physical activity of caring for Thomas, He was preparing me for the last mile in which I would need to trust Him when my body was give out. It all makes perfect sense. There was also one other thing when I was running. I knew with a kind of intuition that God was preparing me for something. I couldn't explain it, so I never told anyone for fear of sounding a little crazy, but I knew every time I ran that it was for a purpose. I just never would have guessed this was it!
God knew what was going to take place months before it ever happened. He knew & so He began preparing us long before we knew why. We had even planned to take our kids to the mountains for Christmas, but abruptly decided it was not a good idea so we canceled. Had we not, we would have had to cancel once the kids arrived & we would have lost almost $2000! It is a reminder to me & to all of us, that even when we don't understand what God is doing, He knows & that should be enough. If we trust Him, He will work everything out in His perfect way.
The first truth came to me as I was driving our foster son to his therapies in the next town. It's not unusual, I do this every Tuesday & Thursday morning. This time, however, I was taking him in the afternoon when we weren't so rushed. It was a nice drive & I had time to just think. I don't remember what I was thinking about that lead me to this revelation, I just remember when I realized with a great suddenness what has been going on. My mind went back over all the events since last summer leading up to the arrival of the 3 new kids & I suddenly saw how God had been preparing me for them. All these things I didn't understand last year all at once made sense. I could see how God worked on my heart in preparation for ministering to children. I love kids, always have, but the thought of ministering to them frightened me greatly. I tried to ignore this calling for months, but God wouldn't let it go. I finally gave in & pursued it. I gave in to His will & He helped me overcome that fear. I remained in constant prayer & learned to rely on Him for the courage to keep going. Then there was the physical exercise of running. I have never been a runner. In fact, I hate running, but I felt like it was something God was calling me to do. I know how weird that may sound, but it's true. So, just like with the children's ministry, I gave in to Him & I started running almost every day. It was hard & it took will power & work every time. I spent most of my time praying for God to get me through it. I never told anyone this before because I thought it sounded pretty pathetic to say I was praying for God to get me through something as simple as a 2 mile run. I would start out great, it was the last mile that almost killed me every time. I would tell God I could not make it if He didn't help me. I would imagine Him running beside me encouraging me on & I would hear Him say each time "Do you trust me to get you there?" My legs would be wore out, I would be out of breath, but I would answer "Yes, I trust you." And each time He got me through that horrible last mile.
Fast forward to us getting the kids. I have always been one to want to help anyone in need, but I'm pretty sure if God had not turned my heart to ministering to children, I would have focused on helping the parents. He was preparing my heart to be in the right place at the right time. When we first got the kids I felt great. Everything was going great, I was running off adrenaline, & I was feeling up to the task. Then the honeymoon wore off & I wore down. I became sleep deprived, I lost about 15lbs from not eating much, my blood sugars kept dropping low, & I was crying a lot. It all became overwhelming. I was running the last mile. I look back & realize my prayers closely resemble those of when I was running & God's answer is the same "Do you trust me to get you there?" Not only was God preparing me for the physical activity of caring for Thomas, He was preparing me for the last mile in which I would need to trust Him when my body was give out. It all makes perfect sense. There was also one other thing when I was running. I knew with a kind of intuition that God was preparing me for something. I couldn't explain it, so I never told anyone for fear of sounding a little crazy, but I knew every time I ran that it was for a purpose. I just never would have guessed this was it!
God knew what was going to take place months before it ever happened. He knew & so He began preparing us long before we knew why. We had even planned to take our kids to the mountains for Christmas, but abruptly decided it was not a good idea so we canceled. Had we not, we would have had to cancel once the kids arrived & we would have lost almost $2000! It is a reminder to me & to all of us, that even when we don't understand what God is doing, He knows & that should be enough. If we trust Him, He will work everything out in His perfect way.
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