Foster Care Reflections: The Next Adventure...

     As soon as our grieving was over, God brought us two new angels and my heart is unimaginably full... again. As He has always been, our God is faithful to those who seek Him. He restores in us that which has been lost. For me, it was not children but it was my loving attitude. I had changed my laughter to mourning, but He gave me peace and joy again. The joy did not come through the new children, it came before they ever arrived.
     Since the others went home they have been back to stay the night several times and my soul has loved every moment of it. God reminded me that this was how it was supposed to go. THIS is how it was supposed to end. THIS is the letting go that is never really letting go. THIS is foster care and the reason why we do all the crazy hard stuff. We are not in the business of separating families, we are in the business of building and strengthening families. We are in it to win it. We are building bridges and praying for restoration. Everything we prayed for happened even if everything around us was going crazy. God was still in control. He has reminded me over and over as a good Father does that when the storm rages, He controls that too. Family won. He won. So we all won. My heart and soul rejoice.
      Now we are in the next adventure with a new family. The kids are older, the questions are harder, and the conversations are so raw. MTV almost prepared me for this...almost.
In just a week we have discussed suicide, sex, drugs, cutting, depression, homosexuality, attempted murder, and so much more. Yet we have also discussed family, grace, Christianity, having a relationship with God, and being His Beloved. I am blown away by their desire to openly talk and freely listen to God's place in all of this. I never knew fostering older kids could be so incredibly scary and yet so incredibly fulfilling. When I began talking to them I feel the Spirit moving in me and the words just flow. I have always said that I just want to work with elementary age children because teens scare me, but apparently, God had other plans this go around! (Never say never because God just hears a challenge).

     My house is overrun with teens and tweens and it's nothing like I imagined. They Instagram me and text me when I'm in the next room. They crawl up next to me when I'm doing my homework and ask for private time. We giggle and laugh and watch movies together. It's as if my heart has loved them forever. Tonight we had a family meeting to voice rules and boundaries and hold each other accountable. One has shared the most intimate details of life with me and declared that I am family forever (ditto!). I already can't imagine my day without them...and it's only been a week. I am anxious to meet their family because I can't wait to begin building new bridges and adding to our family again. Can your family ever really get too big??
     I've told them many stories about the children who were here before them and I can't help but look at them in a fresh new way. I know that I am going to love them so much I will drown in it...and then I will let them go.
I don't even care...
I'm going to love them anyway.
That's me. That's foster care. That's the Jesus life.