Foster Care Reflections: 837 presents

Sometimes you have these great goals in mind to teach your children, ALL your children, about the meaning and the spirit of Christmas. You want to teach them about the joys of giving and not just receiving. You emphasize how it's not about the number of presents they will open Christmas morning, but about the best gift of all and the reason we celebrate Christmas to begin with. You begin teaching this lesson way back in November when you are teaching thankfulness. You carefully plan and think out every gift. You politely decline extra gifts from outsiders so there isn't the great avalanche that the children innocently get lost in, losing the meaning a Christmas all at once.You do all the right things and say all the right things... so it is a complete shock when the whole thing blows right up in your face. Boom.

You don't know when it happens. You don't know how it all went terribly wrong. It just did. All of the sudden, you turn your back and the kids are neck deep in wrapping paper and tape and they are "giving" each other their old shirts and toys and you have 837 presents under your tree. Oh, they heard every word you said about the joys of giving. They heard all the wonderful stories about the true spirit of Christmas...and now you will pay dearly for this lesson you have somehow taught them in the most misguided way. Just as you were about to donate all those unused toys and unworn clothes, they are now "regifting" them to each other. No, no mama you taught them the lesson that just keeps on giving to each other.
I considered undoing what I had just spent months doing, but then I decided not to. The bigger lesson, in the end, is far more important after all. *sigh* Yes, I will have to deal with those toys and those "things" for a while longer, but is it really that big of a deal? After all, the same kids who didn't want to share a seat in the car with each other (and still don't) wrapped up their own possessions to give to each other for Christmas?!  As crazy as the clutter makes me, the sentiment has won me over. There were even cards written and personal possessions wrapped with care given to me. As I watched more and more square footage disappear from my living room, I realized that sometimes it's our own expectations that we must give up in order to make this all work. The most crushing blow we can deliver to ourselves and to our kids in any season is an unrealistic or misguided expectation. Maybe what I needed this Christmas was the gift of renewed sight. I know what I expected the kids to learn, but this wasn't it. This is so much better. My living room is going to be totally trashed Christmas morning, but I think it's a good trade. May each you find renewed sight, a softened heart, and have a Christmas blessed with the full measure Christ. Merry Christmas to you all.