Food for Thought: Storm Season

Sometimes it seems like my posts are all "down" and about nothing but the hard stuff. Right now, that's the season we're weathering. Life is kind of like that. There are ups and there are downs and there are lazy river days. The thing is, I never want to be Tofurky. Tofurky is weird and made of processed ingredients to make it look like something it is not; it's fake meat. I don't want to be fake meat. I want to be authentic even when it's not very pretty. I believe people deserve the whole story about foster care, motherhood, and living by faith. Paul and David are two of my favorite writers because they don't hold back. All of the emotion is on display and you can relate to both joy and heartache. They are normal (emotional) people just like me.

Save me, O God,    for the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in the miry depths,    where there is no foothold.I have come into the deep waters;    the floods engulf me.I am worn out calling for help;    my throat is parched.My eyes fail,    looking for my God. Ps 69:1-3

Foster care life deals a hard game and the rules often change without notice. Some seasons are just like putting your heart in a blender and then trying to make sense of what's left. Some seasons in life the storm doesn't just pass because you prayed that it would, instead it gets a little worse. I have found that there are times in life where inviting the mess in means that you spend so much time helping fight the battles of others that you inevitably forfeit your own because you don't have the strength left for it. You lay down your life and your strength and pieces of your heart all along the path. That is not an easy or safe thing. It is a beautiful and very frightening thing. You find your joy has turned to sorrow during this season and it weighs down every smile. The brokenness has cast a shadow on what you once were able to ignore as "someone else's problem". Now you watch it in your home and you live it in your heart. It is very real and it very painful. Love is not really loving until it breaks apart with those who are mourning every single day. That's why this season is so hard.
I have had people say, "you have to think about you and your family because this is just too much". While I truly understand that sentiment, I don't believe they understand our heart or our calling. THIS is our family. THIS is our life. I would no more walk away from this than I would from my son who just broke his arm because "that is too stressful". This is just how messy life is for us right now. My faith has never waivered and, although I have asked God a few times why He thinks I'm so strong because I'm not sure I am right at the moment, I trust Him with my family and they are my most prized possessions on this earth. Evil plays a tough game, but HE is still the Alpha and the Omega so what is there to fear?

Isaiah 51:12a "I, I am he who comforts you;"

This verse resonates in my soul during this season. These few words are all I need. They aren't telling me to be stronger. They are chastising me because I'm not supermom. They remind me that HE is where I need to run every time for every thing. To the rest of the moms, wives, women, and sisters who struggle through these seasons too, it won't last forever. It's just a season; it's just temporary. No matter what happens here, in Him, eternity awaits where there is no sorrow. Just remember to use your network of support. God has given us this incredible gift of friendship and sisterhood so that we do not carry our burdens and fight these battles alone. Surround yourself with godly women who will pray for you, support you, and even help wipe those tears. We are the women who defy the darkness and we do it together in Christ.

 Then I said to the nobles, the officials and the rest of the people, “The work is extensive and spread out, and we are widely separated from each other along the wall.  Wherever you hear the sound of the trumpet, join us there. Our God will fight for us!”Nehemiah 4:19-20