Wednesday Word: Criticism

I want to dig up the word "criticism" today so that we truly understand what we are weeding out. According to the Oxford English Living Dictionary, criticism means:

the expression of disapproval of someone or something based on perceived faults or mistakes

Did you catch that last part? PERCEIVED faults or mistakes. Whether what someone has done is true or not, we perceive them as true faults, therefore, we judge them as true faults and we deem them worthy of criticism. No wonder the Bible tells us to be SLOW TO ANGER and to control our tongues!
Can we constructively criticize? Yes, absolutely, but we so rarely do. It's a lost art to be sure. Tact is something that few have and even fewer desire. We like to blame our communication skills or our lack of social skills or say it's "just our personality".  The worst offenders are those who let pride direct their mouths, rather than humbling themselves and putting others first before they speak. Imagine how you would "constructively criticize" someone if you pictured them as your boss and you as the employee and you were giving feedback on their job. Would you be so quick to feel haughty in your judgment? Imagine that Christ was sitting down with both of you and He was sitting next to the person you are "critiquing", would you be so quick to put yourself in a place of superiority? Sometimes, in some jobs, it is absolutely necessary to criticize or critique, but it is never necessary to do so in a manner that removes grace from the equation. It is never necessary to do so in a way that love is not given also.
What about venting? This one is a sensitive topic for women. We like to "vent". Here's my take on this and it hits me square in the face too. It is gossip. There are times you need to talk through a problem to ACTUALLY find a solution and that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the times when you want to "vent" about someone or something and go on and on about your anger and frustration and think that after you're done spewing your anger that's it's all over. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but it's not over. Those words don't come back. Those judgments don't come back. That anger inside you is not over simply because you gave flight to it with words. A virus doesn't die inside of you just because you sneeze on someone else, you just share it with someone else! It's a very bad habit we have all developed. We take it to each other rather than God. We criticize others behind their backs and excuse it. This is a critical spirit eating us away and holding us back from all that God can be doing through each of us. There are times I need to talk about a problem so that I can hear it out loud and then arrive at the solution, but there are times I have only done it to "get it off my chest". Guess what? The bitterness or resentment was still there! I simply shared those negative feelings with someone else, but I solved nothing! Misery loves company?? We can't excuse what God doesn't tolerate. We should be taking our issues to Him. I hear He's an extremely good listener :)
So let's take criticism, the really bad and unhelpful kind, and let's uproot it for good. Let's remove it from our heart and our mouths. Let's be just as concerned about it coming out of the mouths of those around us as we are about cuss words. Before you speak, pray. Before you say it out loud, write it down. Be salt and light, not vinegar and darkness.
Pray not only for your heart this week but your friends. Uprooting a critical spirit is a battle all in itself. We have to be in this together! Intercede for one another. Add it to your daily prayer that the fruit of the Spirit will be the only thing that flourishes in our gardens from here on out! Have a blessed day💜