Thinking Thursday: What's Your Purpose

Doubting, despair, and rebuilding are topics obviously close to my heart. The "road less taken" is personal to my life and is where I am purposed to spend my life serving others. These are not subjects I take lightly. I have not simply studied them in psychology books or sat in a class to listen while experts talk about them. I have lived through and survived them. God brought me out of them so that I could bring His message of grace and redemption to others. When I say I was called out and set apart, that is exactly what I mean.
I remember the hospital room where I sat, cold and alone, might as well have been a cave in the depths of the earth. After you try to kill yourself, they don't exactly put you up in the penthouse suite. You are put in a room void of anything and everything that you could use to possibly hurt yourself again. There you remain alone in your thoughts, in the dark, at least for an hour at a time until someone comes to check on you with a flashlight. I sat and stared out the window feeling like the most alone and isolated person in the universe. I had almost forfeited the right to love another human being ever again. I had almost given up the right to see another sunrise, to ever hold a baby in my arms, to take another breath. I was mad at God for not letting me end all the pain I had suffered in my short 20 years of life. But in that cold, dark loneliness I received one simple answer. "You have a purpose". If He wasn't done, than I wasn't done.
I did not know then what that purpose was meant to be. It would take nearly 10 more years "of life" and another lonely, isolating night of hearing God remind me that He had never abandoned me to set things in motion. I say all of that to say this, there is no darkness that God cannot redeem. There is no brokenness that God cannot make more beautiful than before. When He is not present it is because we are not allowing Him to be. I have never felt love like the love of my Father. I have never felt acceptance and forgiveness and peace like I have found in Christ. Trust me, I looked under pretty much every rock that is out there. I bear the scars not of failure and pain, but of redemption and purpose. Sometimes I still lose sight of the big picture and I falter, I stumble and grow weary. God is gentle with me even then. I don't pray for others, tell others about Him, write about Him, plead with others to pursue Him at all costs, because I'm "good" because I am not. I am not good. He is good and He makes me good. He gave me life again 18 years ago and He gave me eternal life 11 years ago.
We have to do more than show up on Sundays if we want a life secure in Christ. We have to do more than "Sunday school" answers if we want to help rebuild the broken. I was at church every time the doors were open from birth to 18 years old when I walked away from church. I was a statistic.
The Gospel is penetrating and pure and powerful. Broken walls can be repaired. Broken bridges can be rebuilt. Demons can be defeated. Nations can be restored, but the dead cannot be saved (as in no longer breathing kind of dead).
It's thinking Thursday so think about this: if your purpose is on purpose, why are you leaving it chance? Get going! 
Here's why I like this verse, You have been adopted into the Kingdom of God! When things get tough, when I'm tired, when I grow weary, I tell myself that last part. Who knows if I may have attained royal position for such a time as this? We are royal builders.

For if you remain silent at this time, protection and deliverance for the Jews will be ordained from some other place, but you and your father’s house shall be destroyed. And who knows if you may have attained royal position for such a time as this?” Esther 4:14