Foster Care Reflections: Life With Birth Mom

We have been spending time doing family with birth mom and it has been nothing short of wonderful. It is always something people fear, including myself. There are so many unknowns when we venture to take that step of letting others into our lives on such a personal level, yet this is the call of foster care. Foster care isn't about dropping money into a bucket and walking away. It isn't about keeping one foot out the door so that you never get hurt. It isn't about being safe with your emotions. Foster care is dangerous, it hurts, it's scary, it's unpredictable, and it's the best thing that has ever happened to our family.
We have had dinners and bible studies with birth mom. We have shared games and motherhood stories together and even church with mom. We shared our life stories around the table of what brought us to this point and what Christ has redeemed. It was a beautiful, bonding time between all of us. God moved mountains in our hearts. The Spirit parted the sea of months of frustration and anger so we could walk right through it and then, at last, the walls around my heart came crashing down. I looked at the mom of the children I had grown to love with brand new eyes. I realized I loved this mom just as much as I loved those kids. I never thought that could ever be possible, but I knew there was no way I could ever see this family fail. I loved this entire family, not just the children.
It takes God calling you out and reminding you that you are holding back STILL from what He is calling you to do. I know so often we see that foster care is only about the children.  So often we see only the needs of the children and we forget entirely that they are just a piece of a family system. We forget that they are not orphans and that they have parents who love them the best way that they know how EVEN if that isn't OUR way. We forget God is calling us to a much, much bigger mission than just to love very hurting, innocent children. I know I forgot. It's so easy to do. I'm so thankful God reminded me because I might have missed out on this lovely woman who sits in my house and is sharing her life with me on a regular basis.
We are doing life together now and I love it. I honestly can't imagine doing this any other way. There is a peace in knowing that we are stronger together, the way God designed community to be. There is comfort in knowing that it is the Spirit that works when we are together so that I don't have to say all the right things or try to do all the right things. I don't have to overthink things, I just have to have the kind of wisdom we are told to have in James 3:17.

Life isn't about playing it safe. At least, living a life for God isn't about playing it safe. We are constantly entering into a new adventure, a new season, a new stage of unknowns. Yet one thing I have found is that whether you are 40 days in the wilderness or 3 days in the tomb, God's faithfulness is everlasting to everlasting! Do not waver when He asks you (or calls you out) to take that step into the unknown because He knows exactly where you're headed. Trust His lead.