Foster Care Reflections: You May Be Tired But He's Not Done

   

     Many doctors and nurses have said the same thing, "this year has been the worst!" and we're barely 3 months in. I completely concur. Our house has battled non-stop sickness since December and it's now March. At first, it was no big deal and we rolled with it. However, I have taken the full force of it for the last month and this momma and her body is tired. I'm worn out. Finito. Done. Exhausted. And whatever other words there are to describe it. For the past week, I have barely showered, ate, or done anything other than take meds and sleep. Yeah, I'm so rock n' roll.
     As I sat at yet another doctors appointment for another kid, I began to just wonder how I could possibly carry on the mission God has given me when I myself could barely stay out of bed. How useful could I possibly be worn out, used up, and sick all the time? As I sat there trying not to fall asleep, I thought of Paul in prison. I thought of Paul and his shipwreck. Paul was a guy who had tunnel vision. Circumstances never determined his mission, they only added flare. He had tunnel vision for Christ. He had a mission and he was sticking to it come what may. So there in the waiting room, I found a new prayer. I prayed that God would give me opportunities no matter where I was and that He would open my eyes to those opportunities. I prayed that in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer that I would be in step with His Spirit. If I am to love HIM more than my husband, more than my children, more than any other thing on this earth, then my vow should echo as much. If chains cannot bind me and the grave cannot keep me then sickness cannot stop me when His will is what drives me. So I also prayed for forgiveness for shortsightedness on a temporary problem and thinking that it could derail an eternal plan.
     Momming is so tough during seasons such as these. When you have a mob of kids it's even tougher. It's so easy to think that we're losing ground and losing the fight of what God has called us to do. It's so easy to beat ourselves up because we aren't doing everything like social media says that we should. If you're a foster mom, I say with complete love STOP IT. Rule number 1, you cannot parent like everyone else because we are basically like a whole separate subspecies here. The typical rules just don't apply! God gave you a mission that is unique and wonderful and you should treasure that. Don't trade it in for a cheap knock-off. When you feel you're in the middle of that storm, do what Paul did and seek God first. When you feel you are chained in a prison of troubles with no way out, seek God first. God gave Paul opportunities each and every time. Paul was effective each and every time. Paul's circumstances didn't necessarily change, but Paul was able to use them. I think that's where we need our hearts to be in this life. We need our eyes and hearts to change and soften with grace and then be awakened with boldness. We need to see that even the worst circumstances can be useful if we will just seek God first.
     So if this is you too, if you got up out of bed this morning and that's as far as you got, God can use that. If your house is a wreck and you're a week behind on laundry, God can use that. If you have zero energy, no fall back plans left, nothing but tears to offer anyone, God can use all of it. I cannot guarantee that your circumstances will change, but I can guarantee your perspective will. After all, that's all that really ever does, isn't it? Once we see the way God sees, we find that it is us that changed not the world around us. Momma, unload your burden and lay down that weight. God has something different in mind for you.